Friday, January 30, 2015

Between 8.30am and 8.55am...

This happened.

After a 5.30am start thanks to Lady Pip we were in pretty good shape to get out of the door on time for a 9am start. Sure, no end to the endless hysteria that is two children:
'BALLOON! I WANT THE BALLOON TOO!'
'MUUUUM! IT IS MY BALLOON! PIP'S TOUCHING IT!'

or

'I WANT YOUR BREAKFAST MUM!'
'No. Eat your own. It's the same.'
'I... WANT.... YOUR.... BREAKFAST....MUM!'

However, bags were packed, children had brushed teeth, I put my socks on and wiped the bench. Suddenly I realised I was STILL humming a melody and random words. A song?! A SONG?! For the first time in four (yep, four, count 'em!) years?! Quick! Get thee to the piano!

I sketched out the basic structure to the song with two toddlers thumping the keys around me, which evolved to M asking if I'd like to have bass guitar in my new song? Yes, yes I would.

I realise what the time is, make a dash to include the packed lunches in the girls' bag, pull the fridge door open... too quickly. An unopened 2L bottle of milk jumps out, misses my outstretched hands and face plants on the floor. Exploding in all directions.

Choice words said, I mopped up with several towels whilst managing to tread on a wet milky towel with my socks.

I turned to the sink where I'd put the offending bottle, screwed the cap tightly and turned the tap on. The tap missed it's mark, landing instead on the bottle lid and creating a fountain of icy cold water all over the front of my running tights.

In the bathroom I blow dry most of the water off my pants and realise it's a great thing I wear a cap when running because my hair is... interesting.

Pip has taken off her shoes after refusing to wear anything but the gold party shoes. She won't reveal where the shoes are so I grab her some socks ('Mil, can you grab Pip some socks please?' 'No thanks, Mum.') and we are almost ready to leave the house.

I carry Pip out the front door whilst Millie bounds down to the fort on her way to the car. Pip is heavy so I set her down to run to the car with Millie whilst I wrangle my handbag, the beautiful Barbie backpack and my Garmin watch, complete with charger still attached.

Halfway to the car I realise Pip still isn't wearing any shoes and running around in the mud. I scoop her up and she immediately wipes her socks all over my running tights.

After a considerable discussion in the car we listen to 'Shake It Off' on the way to daycare (NO MORE 'LET IT GO' IN THE CAR PLEASE?!). My two children who have not let me out of their sight for two weeks (day or night) suddenly run off to the toy kitchen and refuse to hug me goodbye.

Frantic over? Time for coffee and a walk with BRFAABF...

I order a takeaway coffee for Mr S with my order, meaning for it to arrive before our have in coffees. They all arrive at the same time so I race his coffee down the road to him. Who brings two have here coffees and a takeaway coffee at the same time without figuring it out? Truly.

Thankfully my coffee is still hot and L has not inhaled my scones as well as her own.

Because really? She could keep the scones, I needed that coffee and I was not afraid to push over a pregnant lady for it.

Mostly. If I pushed L, I think she'd just push me back. And that's why I love her.

Do you have mental mornings like this? Please humour me and tell me that yes, yes you do.



Friday, October 10, 2014

Daily Positive - Sheila

Back when I used to work in a bookshop, I worked with a lovely lady named Sheila. Sheila was divorced, lived with her cat Ollie and loved to read. She read spiritual books, new release novels, pretty much anything. Sheils had no pretensions about things she did and did not know. I learned some huge lessons from her that I'm sure she never had any idea she taught me.
  • Sheila was humble and unafraid to show it. She showed no ego about being blown away by things that others would find mundane.
  • Generous. She would write you a note because she was thinking of you. She'd bring you a book to read if she thought you'd enjoy it, even if you'd be challenged by it. She'd bring you a plant cutting from her garden because she thought you'd like it. Wonderful, yes?
  • Curious. If Sheils didn't know something she'd ask you all about it, in a simplistic 'Wow, I had no idea. Tell me more about xyz, or more specifically, why is the xyz about the xyz?'
  • She also had a wicked, dirty sense of humour that seemed so at odds with her religious beliefs but were absolutely hilarious.
  • Sheila was so honest about her feelings, yet also delightfully tactful. I never wanted to disappoint her because she respected everyone so greatly that I always wanted to show her the same respect. In a society where it's often easier to gloss over that someone has hurt your feelings, or express it in a passive aggressive way, Sheila's simple yet workable approach was such a breath of fresh air. The environment that we worked in often left me guessing as to where I stood with my superiors, but never with Sheils.
Unfortunately Sheila stopped working with us at the bookshop after a back injury. I haven't seen her since I was pregnant with Millie, and she didn't have the internet when I last saw her. I hope she's well, I think of her often.

Is there someone in your life who inspires you? Why?

Totally unrelated to this, but I wanted to know - do you care if there's a picture in a blog post? I don't because I tend to read blogs on my phone and pictures never flow properly in an RSS feed. What do you think?

Very related to this: I think my Daily Positive posts need a name. Any ideas of something snappy?

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

The Daily Positive

A few months ago I deleted Facebook off my phone, un'followed' all my 'friends' on Facebook, forgot my Twitter username and turned my phone back into a phone. It was glorious for a few weeks. I still haven't put FB back on my phone nor found my way back to seeing what everyone ate for lunch, all the time. But I've been dipping back in to finding 'things' to 'do' on my phone.

I read an entirely fabulous book called 'Enough' by John Naish at the beginning of this year. I then promptly loaned it to L, she loved it, I got it back from her, read it again. And then I started reading it again. He waxes lyrical about our society's obsession with celebrity, linking it back to our primal ages when if we heard about someone's exploits or success - we probably knew them. It makes sense to me.

So I try to not be so involved in the world of people I don't know and more involved in the world of the very few very awesome people I DO know. However, I still love Project Runway and other escapism television shows. I'm pretty sure I saw every episode of 'Kim and Kourtney take New York' complete with 72 day marriage and Kourtney's obsessive coupon clipping.

I still love to read the news. I refresh several times per day and it has really started to grate on me. I have begun to grate on me. Sheesh. But news.com.au are getting Mamamia'esque in the clickbait headlines and I can't quite stand it anymore.

Surely there's some good daily positive news kicking around?

A quick google search revealed Dale Partridge's Daily Positive. Partridge is an entrepreneur, father, husband, and maintains a wicked beard. He reminds me a little of JB Glossinger's Morning Coach. I was a subscriber and lover of Morning Coach for years, and then I dipped out and dipped back to find it a paid platform - hardly surprising given that Glossinger was transparent about his desire to be a millionaire in a given timeframe.

Dale Partridge's articles are so concise and I love his storytelling style. I am not a religious type, so the fairly frequent God mentions do turn me off a little bit... but it's not stories about mutilated humans like the newspaper so I can live with it.

This week I watched and LOVED Felicity's Mental Mission on iView. She was so transparent about her mental health journey and her obvious empathy to others in similar positions was so difficult to watch without sobbing along to the iPad whilst doing the dishes. Felicity is terribly inspiring and has inspired me to be the positive I want to read about. No frequent refresh clicks, but having my own mission to find and share happiness and positivity can only be good for everyone, right?

Sidenote: I couldn't have been prouder to see my cuz, Chris Wagner being interviewed by Felicity. I know that both of our Dads would have been so chest puffingly proud to see Chris making a difference in his new role at the Mental Health Council of Australia.

So today I point you toward Dale Patridge.  Enjoy his gentle words and stories. What will tomorrow bring?

Thursday, September 18, 2014

A short break in transmission...

We are all sick at the moment. Pip has a middle ear infection (the dead giveaway was screaming in her sleep whilst holding her ears), Mil has a random snotty cough and cold. Two days later my throat began to burn... thanks kids. Now Mr S is falling downhill too.

It's a quiet time to the outside world here and I'm exceptionally thankful for ABCKids. I however am here to point you towards some beautiful and thought provoking writing.

Daniel is a musical friend from way back when. His band played at my album launch, and mine at theirs. We shared stages and songs for a very long time. He released a solo album this year, and whilst I'm still yet to get my hands on it (Sorry mate, I'm very slack sometimes) I've heard bits and pieces and it's beautiful.

His writing is also sublime. Short snippets that pack a punch. Make you think. Make you smile. Grab a coffee and pull up. I love to read the writings of songwriters. It's like hearing songs without the music, yet equally as haunting and beautiful.

Go and check it out here. Meanwhile, send tissues.

Friday, September 5, 2014

FFS Friday - My Co-workers Yell At Me A Lot


  • It's pretty safe to say that now I'm not in the thick of newborn sleep deprivation that I'm struggling a bit with my definition of a Stay At Home Mum. FFS.
  • There's been no posting here because I feel like I should be worried about valid world-changing things like world hunger or genocide. FFS.
  • A fellow blogger called me out on this when I saw him at the shops last week. He suggested to get over myself and push through it. Thanks, Steve. Here you go. NO FFS.
  • Instead I'm over the moon about vacuuming my house daily and how I cleaned my microwave. Is that completely self indulgent? FFS.
  • And before you say 'Raising children is The Most Important Job'... well, don't. I get it, I do. FFS.
  • I wouldn't change a thing about raising children except for I wish I knew how to deal with the epic tantrums that seem to have appeared. FFS.
  • Like, right now Pippa (22 months) is hanging off my leg screaming 'MAAAAAKE! MAAAAKE! CUUUDDDDLLLLE!' and then running off to watch The Octonauts. FFS.
  • I took the two handfuls of playdough off her that she had swiped from Playgroup and fallen asleep clutching in the car. FFS.
  • It's a pretty strange feeling that I'm not just wading through motherhood on sleep deprivation and coffee fumes anymore. My kids sleep at night and so do I. Except when I can't sleep because I've drunk too much coffee because OMG tantrums. FFS.
  • So, shouldn't I be going back to work for someone else because there's no immediate need (boobs) for me to be at home with my babies? FFS.
  • WAIT. I don't have a job anymore. They made me redundant (NO FFS) and didn't tell anyone so I still fend questions two years on about when I'm coming back to work. Awkward. FFS.
  • So, instead we craft, paint, clean, play and create. It's pretty sweet. NO FFS.
  • We're getting better at leaving the house too. We go to Playgroup every Friday and the girls LOVE IT and I get to talk to grown ups. NO FFS.
  • Lady Pip falls asleep in the car 10 minutes from home afterwards and it's often the Nap Of Death. FFS.
  • Still, it beats staying at home listening to calls of 'Mum, can you get me some food please? I'm hungry.' NO FFS.
  • The dog next door loses her mind when she sees foreign people. Yesterday she barked at me, a tree and some leaves through two fences and my sewing room window for an hour. There is also no nice way to say to your incredibly lovely neighbours 'Your dog hates me and always barks at me. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.' FFS.
  • I rang Millie's ENT receptionist this week after she sent me an email asking me to call her. It took 10 minutes of her trying to work out why she'd emailed me two days prior. She couldn't open the email attachment I'd sent of a health fund form. If she'd said that I could have resent it two days earlier and saved us both the hassle. FFS.
  • I did a complete freezer inventory of my second 300L chest freezer yesterday. We have enough food for 30 meals in various forms. Thank god, because I have spent the most ungodly amount of money for my food shopping over the past month for some reason. Turns out I'd just been cooking and hoarding an inordinate amount of food. I then made a colour coded list of 'Meals Ready To Go', 'Meals with Minimal Prep' and 'To Be Cooked'. I was overjoyed. NO FFS.
  • When I proudly showed Mr S, he was not as excited as I was. FFS.
  • Thankfully my BFFAARBF Louise was as excited as I was. NO FFS.
  • I have been sewing some cushions in preparation to sell and perhaps begin a crafty business. When I finished one on Wednesday I showed Millie. She said 'OH it's lovely Mummy! Is it for me?' 'No honey, it's to sell.' 'OH MUMMY you are so funny! No one would want to buy a cushion. Who'd buy a CUSHION?! Silly Mummy!' WTF?! FFS.
  • When I relayed this to Mr S that evening, he laughed and got it straight away. Who'd buy a cushion when your Mummy could just make one for you? After all, Mummies make your clothes and can make anything you need, right? We don't buy presents because we can make them! NO FFS. (I'm doing this parenting thing right, after all.)
  • Also, my microwave is SO CLEAN. NO FFS.

Friday, August 1, 2014

FFS Friday - The Business Edition

Short and sweet this week. It's freezing here (FFS) and both girls have snotty noses (FFS). Cuddles are required. But before I lose my train of thought...

M requires a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. FFS.
Whilst she has private health insurance, she hasn't held it for twelve consecutive months yet, meaning that she's ineligible for this surgery in a private hospital without a certificate from her surgeon and our GP saying it's a non pre-existing condition. FFS.
I prefer the public hospital anyway. NO FFS.
But their waiting lists are known for being atrocious. FFS.
With this in mind we put the request form for her surgery the day she was given it.
I called the next day to make sure that the form made it's way to the right people. The response was 'Well M'am, if you put it in the box we would have it. OK?' FFS.
Fast forward to yesterday. Four weeks after I'd called and we hadn't heard anything. I called again, got put through to a lovely lady who couldn't find M in the system anywhere. She offered to call me back immediately after she'd done some research. NO FFS.
She called me back about three minutes after we hung up. 'I'm so sorry, but I've just been downstairs to double check and your form was still in the box. It's been there since you put it in there. I've added her to the waiting list now and I've backdated your request. Did you happen to take the tape off the box opening to put your form in?' 'Nope.' 'Ah. Well, I'm sorry about the mix up.' FFS.
I'm glad it's not urgent surgery. Perhaps the public servant who condescendingly told me 'Well M'am, if you put it in the box we would have it.' COULD HAVE CHECKED. FFS.

In June I subscribed to RedPawPaw, a new Australian business offering a box of grocery sample products delivered for $5. Sure! Why not? It was fun getting a big box of groceries. NO FFS.
I am so old. FFS.
The second box from RedPawPaw took an extraordinarily long time to arrive, and the company doesn't answer their phones and wasn't replying to their Facebook page queries. FFS.
Towards the end of the month with no tracking number available my parcel arrived via Australia Post, not a courier as explicitly stated. FFS.
Mighty first world inconvenience - AP parcels need to be signed for and picked up. Courier comes to my door. FFS.
Filled with glossy printed brochures, the RedPawPaw box looks lush and high end. NO FFS.
What is FFS-Worthy is the email that arrived the week after the last box, stating that due to high demand they were relaunching in two month's time. And then the email saying that due to customer complaints they were changing their delivery partner (to Australia Post). They also stated that they would unfortunately have to pass on their delivery cost. FFS.
This brings the new cost from $5/month to $19.25/month. FFS.
No no, it's cool. You can cancel. NO FFS.
So I did. NO FFS.
Then overnight I got an email thanking me for my continued business and a receipt for the charge of $19.25 for my August box. FFS.
They aren't answering their phones. FFS.
Nor replying to questions on their Facebook page. FFS.
I have cancelled my box again on their website. FFS.
Who knows what will happen next? FFS.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

ParentRadar (tm)

I like to imagine that in most family homes the children can be calm and collected. Then a little jolt zaps them and their ParentRadar (tm) has been switched on.

No idea what I'm on about? I'm sure you're lying, or instagramming a prettier version of the truth.

Let me walk you through it. Grab a coffee folks, let's go.

In my house the ParentRadar (tm) is activated when my children hear me talking on the phone, closing the bathroom door, taking off my glasses to go to sleep at night, going to get a piece of firewood from outside or attempting to make conversation with Mr S. It is not activated when I cook in the kitchen, hang out the washing, vacuum the house, go and stand by their beds to say goodnight when they are asleep, or make a cup of tea.

Recently ParentRadar has been activated when they see me pull on my workout gear. A 7 minute workout last week wound up with both children crying after 2 minutes. This morning I got up at 5am after M crept into our bed at 4.55am (THANK YOU FOR LEAVING THEIR BEDROOM DOOR OPEN MR S, IT WAS DELIGHTFUL LISTENING TO BOTH YOU AND M SLEEPING IN MY BED.) and decided to go for a run.

I cooked the porridge, hopped in the shower. Pippa's ParentRadar (tm) was immediately activated and by the noise she was making when I got out of the shower, she'd been awake for a while. The weather turned rainy and I still planned to go out, but the galeforce winds changed my mind.

I decided to do a Fitball workout instead. I found the DVD, pumped up the Fitball and put the DVD in the player. It made a REALLY strange noise. I asked Pip if she'd put anything in the DVD player... I was met with 'Ummm..... Mum.... ahhh.... Ummmmm...' I discovered a paddlepop stick in there. Pliers in hand, stick removed, I began the DVD.

Approximately two minutes in, Pip lost her mind because I wouldn't give her the Fitball. This kept on for a few more minutes until she realised she could do this.

Extra resistance

Rider aboard, I kept doing my pushups and supermans. We then sat on the Fitball doing reaches and lunges. I thought 'Oh my god, my quads'. Pip said 'Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!'

Everyone was happy. M was doing the workout with me, then ran past me, tapped the ball, tripped over her own feet, on to her nose. 'OUCH MY NOOOOOOOOSE NOOOOOOOSE OWWWWW'. Pip was unhappy again that I wouldn't let her take the Fitball. 'NOOOOOO MUM MUM NOOOO'.

18 minutes of workout. Every child screaming. Mr S looking a bit worse for wear. But truly, ParentRadar (tm). Has anyone got an antidote?


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