Friday, March 9, 2012

FFS Friday / Shiny Things Friday

I have lost a bit of my FFS mojo this week. For reasons I cannot yet explain.
Let's see what I pull out of my whinge hat...

Traffic Update
The right hand lane is for overtaking. Repeat, the right hand lane is for overtaking. MERGE BACK TO THE LEFT. That means you, company branded grey Hilux from Spectran. I spent the entire Southern Outlet stuck behind a grey Hilux from Spectran doing 90 in the right hand lane. FFS.
The Bogan Neighbour Update
When I came home from a barrage of blood tests this morning I saw the BN's dog in their driveway. With the BN's. I fixed them with a steely 'I'm going to throw up' glare and stood in the yard, opening my mail. Eventually one of them came over and said 'Do you have the pound's number?'
Me: 'No. It's on the council's website though.'
BN #1: 'Ok great. You see, this isn't our dog. It's identical to our dog, but our dog is on the chain.'
Me: 'Huh.' (I disbelieve you.)
BN #1: 'I'll go to council on my way to work.'
Me: 'Ok. Have a nice day.'
Sure enough, twenty minutes later the pound truck turns up. Oh. It's still very strange because we've seen their dog out too, and we've seen them get their dog from the driveway. What a strange turn of events. FFS.
The Unobservant Wife Update
Mr S stood in the lounge room and fixed me with A Look. He then said very slowly and deliberately 'Did you not notice that all of the internal doors have new handles?' I said 'No. I did however think all day yesterday that I was trying to open the doors wrong because I could have sworn they turned the other way.' Clearly, I'm an unobservant wife. Don't gender stereotypes mean that husbands are unobservant? Yikes. FFS.
The Millie Update
Millie still shakes her head for yes, no, more and finished. FFS.
She is also now walking. But only when she wants to. Oh dear. FFS.
She is now no longer fond of going to bed at night. Noooooooooooooooooooo. FFS.
This is truly a first world whinge because she stills sleeps all night.
The Crap TV Update
I am completely, sadly addicted to The Good Wife. I find that Millie has a beautiful knack for squealing/yelling/talking/making kissy sounds when there's a crucial plot point. FFS.
And also FFS to me for being irritated that I need to pause and rewind when this happens. FFS.
The Petulant Cat Update
Lucy the cat appears to be either menopausal (different when you are a eunuch) or having a Mid-Life crisis. Always sulky and behaving decidely like a teenager. FFS.
Lucy also wakes us up around midnight/2am to let us know that she's unhappy with how her life has turned out and is thinking of turning to alcoholism. It used to be only me that she woke up to tell this to. Now, as Mr S drugs and feeds her of a nighttime, he wakes up too. Suffice to say that FurDaddy Don't Take No Crap From FurChild and she's even sulkier now. Yelling at a cat will do that. FFS.
The Customer Service Whinge
Because I care about what I eat, I'm that irritating customer asking how fresh your meat is. Just so you know, the correct answer isn't really 'Very very fresh.' FFS.
My post about Customer Service  appears to be my most popular post ever, which I think means that someone has linked to it somewhere. I've been poring over my stats and I cannot work out from where. ENQUIRING MINDS NEED TO KNOW. FFS.
When I went to find the link to my customer service post I just realised I haven't posted for a week. Oops. FFS.
There are shiny things, but again, for reasons I cannot yet explain, this will happen tomorrow. 

Go and say to Sarah at Dear Baby G. She's having a Very Busy few weeks but still managing to keep on top of her blog. (FFS.)

Dear Baby G


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