Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Busy

Or is it just a nicer way of saying 'I live in a bubble and all of my friends are in my computer'?

As this pregnancy progresses I think about what was happening this time around with Millie. I certainly left the house a lot more. And I slept a lot more. I also ate a lot more and gained a lot more weight.
I had a friend who lived 600m up the road and I rarely spent an entire weekend at home. 

I was still playing gigs 2-3 times/week so I saw my band a lot, as well as speaking to people at gigs. I worked 4 days a week too.

This time around things are different. I was about to say quieter, but that's not true. Millie makes enough noise for ALL of my previous circle of friends. My friend moved to town, I don't play gigs any more (or should that be right now?), and I work 15 hours/week over three days. The quantity of face to face human interactions is less, but I have a sturdy support network a phone call, email or tweet away. That's right folks, I just said I have friends on twitter. And at 21 weeks pregnant... man, I'm TIRED. There are entire afternoons when M and I sit on the floor, play with blocks and watch Project Runway.

As first time parenthood loomed I was so unsure of myself. I surrounded myself with friends who had children and they all kindly helped me find my way. And post-birth they were amazing, and helped around the house and advice about breastfeeding and that indeed, it can be devastatingly normal for your baby not to sleep. Then I found my way, and realised that my way was different to theirs. This can be a hard place to maintain a friendship, and seemingly, we've all moved on. No fall outs, no harsh words, just neither of us taking the time to call up and make plans to catch up. Suddenly it's been almost a year and... well... I'm okay with that. 

The friends Mr S and I have now are mostly parents too, and people we don't get to catch up with very often, but when we do it's glorious. What I love the most, is that they understand. They understand The Busy, they have it too. 

But non face to face friend-wise... I'm blessed with many. I'm so glad for iMessaging, because otherwise my phone bill would be enormous from epic conversations with Sarah, and Melina. My sister is a new mother too, and we talk every few days, and we've started FaceTiming once a week. My nephew is the cutest little boy I've EVER seen. I have an online mother's group, and that's 38 ladies who are always around when you need them, with kids exactly the same age as Millie. I'd be lost without them. Our friendships extend beyond the realms of Facebook, and I'm always touched to receive a 'Just to say hi!' text from one of them every now and then.

I'm pretty bad at leaving the house with Millie. I spend three days per week shuffling M to daycare, racing 45km to work, working for 5 hours, racing 45km back to the Valley, picking M up, getting home and then dishes, dinners, baths and bedtime. On our days off I desperately need some semblance of 'Me' time and spend our days pottering around the house, sewing, reading books with M and generally not doing housework beyond the bare minimum. I like home.

My hesitation to leave the house with Millie stems from the early times when she hated the car and screamed for high heaven every time we went in it. Sleep deprivation and a screaming sad baby do not a happy car trip make. However, she's a bit older now and not too bad. We tootled around town all day yesterday and she was ace. She naps in the car as we make our way from A-B, but I think I'm a bit selfish. I really like when she naps at home... time by myself driving somewhere isn't quite the same as creative time by myself.

There you have it. My name is Amy, and I have The Busy. I live in a bubble, and I like it.

Do you have a bubble? Do you have The Busy too?


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