What I've Learned in the Past 14 Days

This post could also be entitled 'Things I'd Forgotten About Having a Newborn'.

Bogan Baby Fist Pump for Bogan Baby Ugg Boots.

1. You will be tired. You will sleep more soundly and in larger blocks than when you were pregnant, but you will be significantly more tired. This is known as the Unfair Effect.
2. The poo. You know it's been a good nappy change when you find yourself soaping up to your elbows. There will never be any pictures of newborn poo on this blog or anywhere I'm involved. Take heart.
3. You will relax your rules about screen time and start handing M the iPad whenever she points at it and says hopefully 'Ipa?'. This is partially because you find it cute (and concerning) that she's learned how to say iPad, but also it means you can lie in bed and she will sit with you and you both watch Play School.
4. You will also find yourself continuing to watch Play School long after she's left the room.
5. Breastfeeding can hurt. But the difference is that this time, so far, it seems to be a lot easier. Aside from...
6. Mastitis. I started getting mastitis the day before I was planning to come home. Thankfully due to my history of getting Mastitis I was on a course of antibiotics before I could blink and feeling MUCH better within half an hour.
7. Appetite. I have never eaten so many meals that I've proclaimed to be 'Best. Food. Ever.' and I go to bed with a 1L water bottle, a box of crackers, a banana and muesli bar. Most gone by daybreak. At this rate I will never lose my pregnancy weight.
8. You will feel vindicated about how bloody huge you were at the end of your pregnancy. That is because there was a bloody huge baby occupying your stomach space.
9. People will question your birth choice, regardless of your birth choice. Although, I don't imagine many people have to answer the question 'Why did you have a vaginal birth?' as opposed to the amount of times I've been asked 'Why did you have a C-Section?'. The majority of people mean no malice behind their question, but I've certainly felt judged.
10. You still look pregnant. When we leave the house I like to hold Pippa, it makes me feel less like someone will ask when I'm due.
11. The newborn cry will melt your face off. Not in the 'I'm melting from the cuteness' but the 'Oh god, it sounds like everything bad in the world.' It's okay, they're meant to sound like that.
12. Some days everything is too hard. It's okay to hide in the bedroom with the blinds closed, but you will feel much better if you take your newborn, a cup of coffee and go and sit in the sun.
13. This is the glorious time when caffeine does not mess with your ability to sleep. Fed the baby? CUP OF TEA. I've FINALLY finished a cup of tea I made at 3.45pm, and remade at 4.30pm. And I will still sleep soundly. Hurruh!
14. My babies have an supersonic sensor for food. Perhaps it's universal, but your soundly sleeping baby will sense the spoon being raised to your mouth and wake up, immediately hungry themselves. Every meal.
15. Nobody is reasonable at 3am. It took us a month or so to figure it out when Millie was a newborn, but Mr S and I have realised that we are both highly unreasonable in the middle of the night, so we take care to be kind to each other. I find this difficult when Mr S cannot wake up to change a nappy, despite him saying he's about to get up, but I try my best.
16. You will be tired. I know, I already said this, but it's true.
17. Newborns smell delicious, and their cheeks feel like tasty tasty steaks.
18. When in hospital, your street grade narcotic painkillers will make you feel like superwoman. Then you will come home without the Tramadol, and the Panadeine Forte will run out. The days when this happens suck, but the next day is better. Soon you'll be pain and painkiller free.
19. The TV is your friend. It doesn't care if you have baby spew on your shirt, haven't put socks on in weeks (can't reach down there!) and always has something to watch. Even if you've downloaded it or are renting multiple movies on Apple TV. 
20. The time you spent stashing meals in the freezer and making a Freezeventory, then sounding like a meanie and not letting extended family raid your freezer? Time well spent. Pat self on back. Everyone has gone home now and no one in your family (i.e You and Mr S) feels like cooking. The day Pip was born I made my mother a list of things to do, and asked her to make two banana cakes. One for now, and one cut up for the freezer. This was also a winning idea of mine, and a winning action of Mothership's.
21. Babies have wind pain. And they sometimes cry, a lot. I also have wind pain. Pippa's is from guzzling at the milk bar, mine is from a surgeon rummaging around my insides. It certainly gives me empathy for Pippa's wind pain.
22. A Good Partner is worth their weight in gold. Mr S spent my time in hospital treating me like a princess, bringing proscuitto, brie and dips to my hospital tray, wine with my lunch (mixed with painkillers, natch), running to the shops for trashy magazines, and now we're home, running to shops for Lady Things, painkillers, snack food and generally Taking Care of Business. I'd be lost without him. He says he'd be lost without me. Go Team Us! He also changes nappies in the night. No, you can't have him.
23. Breastfeeding Hormones are Ace. I didn't experience this with Millie at all, but one feed with Pip and I'm all 'Oh man, I love you guys!' and Pip's all 'Oh man, I jus' wanna say, wait, wait, I jus' have to tell you... I loveyouguyzzzzzzz.' It's lovely and makes feeding feel a bit better and less 'Open your mouth wider, wider, big mouth now, milk's going everywhere...'
24. Being a second time parent rocks. It's hard work, but we feel like we've got a tiny idea of what's going on this time. I feel so much more confident with Pip. My midwives in the hospital kept remarking 'You're such a confident mother!' and I kept wanting to look behind me to see who they were talking to, but I couldn't move because of all the effing pain, so I assumed they were talking to me.
    
    It's difficult to not let the anxiety I felt when M was born creep back in, where every newborn scream made me feel like I'd NEVER work it out and she'd NEVER stop crying. As Mr S keeps telling me 'We got this.'

Yep. We got this.