Let's go way way back...
- Last Tuesday morning I was on my way back to bed after resettling Lady Pippa when my iPad and iPhone started binging loudly. And continuing to bing loudly. I couldn't find the blessed iPad and my iPhone was on the dock, next to Mr S's head. I went in to the bedroom to find him staring bleary eyed and very confusedly at the phone. 'Make it stop! What's going on?' I HAVE NO IDEA.
 |
| F**k you. |
- I spent the next hour working out how to unlock my iPad. My iPhone was unaffected because it has a passcode. Rest assured that the iPad now has a passcode. FFS.
- My children are on a dinner strike. FFS.
- Pippa's vocabulary is skyrocketing daily. Her response to dinner is 'Yuck'. FFS.
- I wonder where she learned that, Millie? FFS.
- I mean, it's fine. NO FFS.
- Nope, I lied. IT IS NOT FINE. I spent an hour blitzing vegies and making a pasta bake with spaghetti in it because last night's dinner soundtrack was a toddler screaming because the spaghetti 'WAS NOT BIG SPAGHETTI I WANT BIG SPAGHETTI'. So a pasta bake with spaghetti instead. Sure thing. The response: "It's ingusting. So ingusting. I WANT SPAGHETTI.' FFS.
- Guess who will eat a big breakfast tomorrow because there's no other food anymore. You can get out of bed and EAT YOUR DINNER. FFS.
- I have started drinking after dinner due to the stress of dinner. Cider is my BFF. NO FFS.
- Millie is big on sounds at the moment. She spends all day making SOUNDS. Just, SOUNDS. Usually some variation on a raspberry. ALL DAY. FFS.
- I am still suffering with shin splints and ITB injuries, plantar fasciitis and various upper back issues related to carrying heavy toddlers around and being tall. FFS.
- I NEED TO RUN. FFS.
- My girls lie down on the floor with me, do their 'strachies', steal my tennis balls (plantar fasciitis) and my foam roller (ITB and shin splints) and try to eat my frozen peas (ice pack for shins). FFS.
- They won't eat cooked peas so I'll take what I can get. NO FFS.
- Pip's new favourite sound is her version of a siren, which is somewhat both ear splittingly loud in volume and quite an... unusual sound. FFS.
- Millie's favourite song is "Roar" by Katy Perry. In case you're not sure of what is is, here you go.
- We listen to it at least a few times per day. Pip was standing behind me when I was putting music on Spotify this week saying 'Oh oh oh oh-oh OH OH OH' and I wasn't sure what she was saying... then I realised she wanted to listen to "Roar". Child musical genius. NO FFS.
- There are far worse songs with far worse messages that my children could want to listen to. NO FFS.
- My third toddler (THE FREAKING CAT) refuses to sleep in past 5.30am if one of the two occurs: 1) Her food bowl is empty or 2) She has food in her bowl but wants you to show it to her. I'm getting well trained at sleeping with my fingers in my ears. FFS.
- It's now three hours later than when I started writing this. I have now been fed, watered and cuddled by my family and feeling decidedly less stabby... this does not make for good writing. FFS.
